Lauren Alexis: Tanzania

A Witness Trip.

We turned from Tanzania about six months ago now although it really doesn't seem that long. I still think about it every day. I go back in my mind like a journey through my memories. Sometimes I imagine myself there. I remember the feelings. So many feelings.

Who knew that one three week journey could evoke so much raw emotion.

I've always been a big proponent of feeling things, but in Tanzania I learned the capacity of my heart to feel ugly things. Dark and ugly things.

It's funny because we go on missions trips expecting to serve others, lose ourselves, and draw nearer to the Lord than we ever have before, and some days for me that was true. Some moments were amazing. I met amazing Tanzanians with the most beautiful hearts desiring to be witnesses of Jesus in their city. I saw Jesus move.

What I did not expect was to see the darkness of my own heart rising before me. My own selfishness. Not expecting it made it a challenge to deal with. In moments I had to do battle for my own heart and mind.

There were feelings of awe and gratitude.

"WE ARE HERE. REALLY HERE."

A lifetime of videos, television, and growing up in the church had painted a vivid and accurate picture of Africa, but to be there immersed in it instead of looking at it on a screen.... well it was culture shock.

One of the missionaries there made this statement to our team:

Some people come for the adventure, but it's not enough. You have to be called.

How true were his words.

The adventure is there and it is real.
But if I had not been one hundred percent sure that the Lord wanted me on the trip, I would have given up.

(Sam and I were traveling buddies, almost all our seats were together. Sam is a great traveling companion and did not get frustrated when I woke her up all the time)

(After 48 hours of travel, I had never been so thankful to sleep laying down. Another thing that is humorous to me about this picture, is the mosquito net. This is the first night we spent IN Africa and we were all verging on paranoid about the mosquitos. I sprayed down my PJ's and my bed with cancer causing bug spray, tucked the mosquito net around me with so much care and used the insect zapper inside the net after climbing into bed. When we returned to Dar two weeks later on our way home, I just pulled the mosquito net down and went to sleep.)

(From Dar to Kigoma)

(They sent us on a photo scavenger hunt with a bit of money as soon as we got there; the goal was to help us better understand the way the people there live.)

This picture was taken at a fish market along the lake.

(and we petted... pet? petted? Decimus' pet monkey)

We split into different groups and went to different churches in the town of Kigoma. Seth brought the Word.

(oh, and the dark spot on my shirt is from the cancer causing bugspray #Deetupfromthefeetup)

My friend Beth loves Chacos. I told her I would never get any.....

Then I did.

This is probably one of my favorite pictures. Taken at the beginning of a ten hour boat ride while still in the bay, none of our faces had begun to show the signs of seasickness.

And if you didn't know you could get sea sick on a lake.... you can.

I love boats. and water. As you can tell.

The first night in the village I felt overwhelmed. It was a rapid transition to a rural African village where they were very unaccustomed to seeing white people. It was a ten minute walk to were we were putting on the camp and so we had to carry all of our equipment and food for the week. I picked up a water jug that was far too heavy for me to carry that distance. Someone told me it would get to heavy but my pride wouldn't let me put it down.

By the time we got there I thought my arms were going to fall off. As we began to set up camp the sun went down and for some reason everything becomes more overwhelming in the dark. We were so far from home in a very unfamiliar place. One of our team members got bitten by a spider and we didn't know what kind. As I was trying to eat rice and beans in the darkness (despite an acute lack of hunger), I felt fears and questionings in my heart. "

"God, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know what I'm doing here."

And then I remembered.

He had called me.

He had called US. Our team.

And if He had called us, then He would be enough for us in a place so vastly different from our home.

Then followed one of the most amazing weeks of my whole life. We got to help Hope of the Nations put on a four day camp for kids from three different villages. Some of them had walked a whole day to be there. We sang. We danced. We played. and we shared story upon story upon story from the Bible. And after a week of being ministers of the Gospel with our Tanzanian friends, we got back on the boat and headed back to Kigoma.

Things I remember:

I remember praying with my team that Sam's hand would be okay after it started swelling.

I remember seeing stars more brilliant than I had ever seen before

I remember seeing the camp kids for the first time, their faces and body language apprehensive to us.

I remember the first time I heard them sing that night I felt overwhelmed and homesick.

They had perfect harmonies and rhythm and it was peace to my heart.

I remember the first night we did worship outside and danced. I remember thinking that the part of me that loves to dance, that has always LOVED to dance, well that that part of me was actually from Africa. Like God put it in me knowing what it was for and why.

I felt.... for the first time.... like the dancing part of me belonged somewhere.

They were singing a song about friendship. "rafiki"

These faces though.

Another one of my favorite pictures.

Probably because by normal standards we don't look amazing and it's blurry.

but when I see this picture, I see beauty beauty.

I remember the faces of the girls who taught me to dance like an African.
and I remember dancing with them and being the absolute happiest.

I remember watching Holly teach while Decimus translated and being so exited.

I remember showing them glitter and watching them be enamored with it and put it on their faces.

I remember laughing.

I remember swim time which actually doubled as bath time (girls and boys separate #nopurple)

The girls taught me how to wash my clothes properly and we sang English songs while we swam.

I remember having really terrible blisters from my Chacos.

On the last full day of camp, many of our team members woke up sick.

I remember walking back from game time and seeing them sprawled across the cement slab in front of the classroom. They were weak and tired and throwing up, but trying so hard to not let their sickness be a distraction.

On the same day, I remember seeing my Tanzanian friend Stephen carrying a demon possessed girl in his arms.

I remember walking into the room and where they were praying for her and hearing them singing and crying out to God on her behalf.

I remember when Daniel asked Allie and I to pray with her to receive Jesus.

I remember getting to lead Dorcas in the prayer to receive Jesus into her heart.
I spoke in English, Daniel translated into Swahili, and Dorcas repeated after him.
A tumbling of voices.

I remember the awe and wonderment for the Lord that was in my heart.

I remember the last night of camp. All during that day, the song, "How Great Thou Art" was in my heart.
That night Daudi gave the Gospel presentation. I couldn't understand a word he said, but my heart was rejoicing because I knew the words he was speaking were good and true.

Later they asked any kids to come forward who wanted to receive Jesus into their hearts for the first time.

(Dorcas - set free because of Jesus)

As those beautiful children started coming forward, someone started singing How Great Thou Art in Swahili and our team joined in singing in English.

How could God be so gracious to me to constantly reaffirm His realness and presence?

I cried in joy and wonder.

I remember tossing and turning in my sleeping bag all night.

I remember waking up the next morning and throwing up outside of my tent.

I remember packing up camp with no strength in my body, but seeing this in the sky.

I remember watching Dorcas getting baptized (PRAISE THE LORD), then getting on the boat to leave, feeling like my heart was going to explode.

On the ten hour boat ride back to Kigoma, I layed on the bow of the boat.

Many of my new Tanzanian friends were sitting around singing to Jesus in Swahili.

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to listen to them sing.

Then we sang some English songs together.

I wanted to take a photograph of that moment in my heart and mind because the peace and joy of the Holy Spirit was there.

Later I moved to the side of the boat and dangled my feet off the edge. Attempting to concentrate on the horizon as not get sick, I leaned my head against the railing and practiced breathing.

Then Shukuru came and sat next to me.

He started telling me his story.

his story with Jesus.

He told me about how he once was a criminal, and how he smoked, and how his family was Islamic.

He told me about how he suddenly started to throw up every time he smelled cigarette smoke.

He told me about how he was led to the Lord.

He told me about hearing the audible voice of God.

He told me about how he turned himself in to the authorities because of the crimes he committed.

He told me, how they told him to go free.

and with joy, he said,

"Now I'm free. I'm free."

There's so much more to his story. I want to write a book about it someday with him if I get to go back.

The day after we got back from camp, we went to minister for a week with Kingdom Fellowship Ministries.

Below is a picture of us in their beautiful church, Grace Fellowship.

They welcomed us so gladly we could not help but feel at home.

When we pulled up, they were in the middle of worshipping together led by an amazing worship team and choir.

The outside of Grace Fellowship Church.

One of the things we did a lot of during this week was door to door ministry.

We literally went door to door and asked people if we could talk with them. We would begin by asking them about their lives and then bring in conversation pointing to God. Some were Christians, some were Muslim. We all started out intimated of this... apprehensive, but it turned out to be the biggest blessing.

In Tanzanian culture, it is a blessing to receive a visitor. They way we look at physical possessions as blessings, they look at receiving guests.

We would never have been able to do this without our amazing translators.

These men (and one woman) have incredible hearts for the Lord.

One was a missionary to Zansibar were muslims tried to kill him.

Another was from the Congo.

Others were volunteers for the kids program.

Not only did they translate for us, but they also helped us along and carried conversations when we didn't know how.

They blessed us and taught us and were immensely gracious to us.

We did a two day VBS for kids around the church.

This little girl was watching her baby sister. She was at the VBS but had to keep leaving to make the baby stop crying.

We also went to the hospital where we cleaned wards and prayed for patients.

Hospitals are hard and sad.

To have an opportunity to pray for patients who looked hopeless.....

and for the mothers of babies who couldn't stop throwing up....

we were thankful.

This also made us practice boldness. To ask questions and show the heart of the Father.

and again, we had our amazing translators with us.

This beautiful woman ministered with us at the hospital.

Her name Mama Christina and she is a carrier of the joy and peace of the Holy Spirit.

Evangecubes are little cubes that bend and move to show the story of Jesus.

At the hospital I gave mine to this little boy and shared with him the story of what Jesus did for him on the cross.

Afterwards, I realized that was the first time I had ever just straight up told someone the Gospel.

Also, this may be the most beautiful I have ever felt in a picture.

This family got in my heart.

The mothers name was Susanna, and she was one of three widows we visited that day.

As we sat in her home, we spoke of the things of the Lord. She cried in thankfulness for encouragement, and then I cried in thankfulness for Jesus and the way He works.

A picture of our team and the kids in the feeding program.

Even if kids with AIDS receive medicine, if they do not have food it is useless.

Kingdom Fellowship Ministries has developed a program for feeding 40 of these kids weekly so that they can stay HEALTHY.

We played with them and did crafts with them and laughed with them and shared love with them.

This is Gabe and Candace Gwahenye and their two sons (another baby is on the way!) on the huge piece of property where they are working towards building a home for kids, a community center for the feeding program, and so much more.

At the end of the week we shared dinner and worship in the Gwahenye home.

It was a sweet time of togetherness and the best way to end our time in Tanzania.